She’s Pregnant, Now what?

Those words you hoped you would never hear are ringing in your ears. Deciding to have sex has now impacted at least 3 lives: yours, your girlfriend's, and the life she now carries. What you do next will go a long way in defining the man you are and want to be. Although you may not have control, you do have choices that will impact others; and when you look back, what will matter most is how you conducted yourself.

Let's face it, you have 5 basic choices:

Parent the child with your wife/girlfriend

Raising a child is rewarding and hard at the same time. You will be tested physically and emotionally like you have never known, but the joys are incredible. Ultimately, you must think about what is best for your child; raising her together or offering her to a loving family through adoption.

Help your wife/girlfriend create an adoption plan

Your problem can be someone else's blessing and you can play a big part by suggesting to your girlfriend that she explore this option. You can't force this choice, but you can look back and know that you offered leadership and long term hope to your girlfriend and your baby. Read more about adoption and find out on UnplannedGood's website about others' experiences as well as many other resources.

Suggest your wife/girlfriend get an abortion

Your wife/girlfriend can make this choice, but before she does, talk with a trained Patient Advocate so you can make an informed decision. Male Patient Advocates are available to speak with by appointment. The decision is irreversible and there are health and emotional risks involving both you and your wife/girlfriend. Someone might say, "Just have her get an abortion," and this may seem like an easy solution, but it may ultimately be the hardest road to walk.

Leave the decision up to your wife/girlfriend

The 'politically correct' response the world tells us we should give is: "I'll support you no matter what you decide." It takes two to make a baby and two to make a healthy decision about what to do next. We encourage couples to talk through their decision together. Both male and female Patient Advocates are available to talk with you individually or as a couple so you can make an informed decision together.

Get out

Out of the relationship or out of town or whatever; just out. This seems like the easiest option, but by choosing it you will find you can never escape yourself. The decision to make it easier on yourself at the expense of others will follow you for the rest of your life.


Before going any further, remember that you are not alone. RealOptions has male Patient Advocates who look forward to talking with you as you make a decision. Here are some final thoughts as you consider your situation.

Think of how hard this time is on your wife/girlfriend and support her. Now is the time to stand by her and be a man. You do not have to rush into any decision - our Patient Advocates are available to talk with you and your wife/girlfriend about all of your options to equip you to make the most informed decision.

Get your second medical consultation now.